SINGAPORE: A Singaporean who is unemployed yet still gives her mother S$1,900 from their monthly savings asked in a local Reddit post how much others give their parents.
In a Nov 29 post on r/askSingapore, the Redditor wrote that aside from S$1,900, she also pays for home broadband, helper and electricity bill and their mother’s insurance premium.
She added that she has two other siblings who also contribute cash to their mothers’ upkeep, but their mother seems dissatisfied with the amount her daughter gives her.
“She is constantly saying I do not give her enough and even came to ask for a share of my bonus (which I don’t have because I am jobless, but I continue to give her money every month out of my savings),” the daughter wrote.
Many commenters have since weighed in to answer her question, and their situation appears far from uncommon. One wrote that S$1,900 per month is “certainly not the norm” and encouraged her to remember that they must save for their future, too.
Another Reddit user who is an only child wrote that they give their parents 10 per cent of their income, which they and their parents had discussed even before the commenter began to earn money.
Another also said that 10 per cent is the “market rate” for giving to parents.
They also expressed concern that she is giving too much money to their mother despite being jobless, pointing out that S$1,900 is already the salary some people receive.
“At the risk of overstepping, it sounds like you are not good at setting boundaries. I suggest you look up ways to address this dynamic. Otherwise, you can expect to be trampled on for the rest of your life,” the commenter added.
Another, who surmised that the post author’s mum may not know about their employment situation, advised them to make it clear so that she would stop asking for more money.
Others wondered what the mum needed S$1,900 for, especially given that the daughter already covers many of her bills and that her other children are helping out as well.
Some commenters wrote that their parents don’t want them to give them money at all, but they either play for utilities or help with larger purchases. /TISG
