SINGAPORE: A 31-year-old Singaporean man recently started a conversation online by asking if “not having a flat or car” would make him less appealing to Singaporean women.
In his post on the r/askSingapore forum on Sunday (Jan 5), he shared that he had just returned to Singapore after 8 years of studying abroad and was preparing to re-enter the dating scene.
However, he was concerned that not having the typical assets, like a flat or a car, might be a dealbreaker.
“I would like to hear your thoughts and experience. Any 30+ who continued dating their SO without a car and flat till they got serious about marriage?” he asked.
To provide some context, the man explained that he didn’t own a car because of his flexible work schedule, which allows him to take buses during off-peak hours.
He added, “I hate driving and prefer to use my phone during the journey, especially since there is always a seat available on the bus. Plus, there is always Grab for social outings if I am feeling lazy.”
Regarding his living situation, he shared that he still lives with his family of four in an HDB flat and has a great relationship with them. “For that reason, I find it meaningless and a waste of money to rent a condo, especially since I’m not yet eligible to buy a resale flat,” he said.
The man also believed that purchasing a car or flat just to impress a date wouldn’t align with his true self or values.
“It doesn’t feel authentic and isn’t true to who I am. I have a traditionalist mindset and just find it more memorable to make significant purchases, like buying a car and a resale flat together with my partner when we are of age and are very serious about marriage,” he wrote.
“Find someone who is with you at your bottom because they deserve to be there at your peak…”
In the thread, one Singaporean Redditor, who’s had his fair share of dating experience, explained that women in Singapore typically don’t expect their dates to own a car, let alone a flat, because they understand how challenging it can be to secure these assets.
He said, “Most of the girls or everyone knows the situation; it’s not easy to get a flat unless you are married or 35 or bloody rich to buy a condo. Car no need to say, I know married couples and earning also can’t afford a car.
30-32 still starting out financially, building a career, how to afford a car? Unless parents help.
So most of the girls will understand, and they won’t expect that. They would expect you to have a decent job, some good looks, be presentable, and, most importantly, a good personality.”
Another commented, “I wouldn’t worry too much about this. The girls who reject you because you don’t have a flat or car aren’t the type you want to settle down with anyway. Find someone with compatible values; otherwise, marriage will be a living hell.”
A few more users jumped in and shared their own stories, saying they managed to date just fine without a car or flat.
One user shared, “I met my girlfriend through CMB 6.5 years ago. She was the one who stuck with me through thick and thin when I had nothing. She picked me up from night classes and prepared dinner during those arduous days.
She was the one with a car. Find someone who is with you at your bottom because they deserve to be there at your peak.”
In other news, a man who’s been out of work for a year took to Reddit to share that his wife threatened to divorce him after his job application was rejected once again.
Posting on the r/askSingapore forum on Thursday (Jan 2), the man mentioned that in addition to the divorce threat, his wife also suggested that they change their children’s surnames to hers and told him that he would be better off gone, with his ‘insurance money going to the children, rather than consuming resources that could be better used for them.’
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
