SINGAPORE: A 22-year-old woman who works in a family business recently claimed one of her employers, a close friend of the founder, had made inappropriate remarks about her. She wondered if she should report him.
In an r/askSingapore post on Friday (Jan 10), u/Sad_Corgi_6850 wrote that she had been working for the firm for a little over a year. The man in question, who she believes is over the age of 50, recently became the one to whom her team directly reports. He is a married man with adult children.
While he has a reputation for “subtly hitting on women in the company”, calling his behaviour out has been difficult because he has been discreet so far. In the past, she brushed off his comments, given how challenging getting a job is at present.
But now it seems the man has crossed a line. Earlier this week, he commented that she had put in more effort with her appearance after she started wearing eyelash extensions. However, he told her later how good she looked and that if he were younger, he would abduct her and lock her up in his home.
Stunned by this remark and not knowing how to respond, she did not say anything.
When one of their female colleagues walked by, the employer asked the other woman if the post author “looked pretty”, adding a comment that her hair looked “messy”.
The woman told the employer that his remarks were inappropriate as they constituted harassment. However, he told her that the post author liked it.
“At that moment, I was too shocked to process everything. It didn’t hit me until I returned to my desk, and the whole incident has been bothering me ever since. I feel like I should have said or done something, but I didn’t,” she wrote, adding that she wonders if what has happened is partly her fault because she gave off “the wrong vibe”.
She asked for advice on whether she should report the man to the company’s HR department but felt this would be useless since it’s a family business.
In an update, she added that the man had asked her to lunch twice in the past, but she declined both times. She also wrote that when the man tried his antics with another female colleague, the “big boss’ daughter” explained it away as “an old man’s old-fashioned way of thinking”.
Commenters on her post reassured her that the situation is not her fault. Some urged her to file a police report, though others said this would be tough without evidence. Many also urged her to find another job.
A Reddit user told her to prepare sharp and direct answers if he behaves inappropriately again, and others said she should be ready to record what he says so she has evidence of his behaviour.
According to the Manpower Ministry, people who experience workplace harassment in Singapore may file a report with the police or with TAFEP, the Tripartite Alliance for Fair and Progressive Employment Practices. They can also call 6838 0969 for advice. /TISG
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