SINGAPORE: A woman took to Reddit on Thursday (Jan 9) to share that her date got offended when she paid for their meals.
In her post on the ‘Singapore Raw’ forum, she explained that the guy she’s seeing initially offered to pay for all their dates “since he earned more than her”.
While she appreciated the offer, she turned it down and insisted they split the expenses because she believed in equality and didn’t like the idea of taking “advantage of him”.
“I also didn’t want to have a weird power dynamic with him because with that, I feel he implies he owns my body/time,” she added.
The two eventually agreed on a 50/50 setup: he would pay upfront, and she’d transfer him her share later. It seemed like a solid arrangement that worked for both of them—until one day, things got awkward.
During one of their dates, she decided to pay for their meal directly instead of waiting for him to pay first. She thought it was no big deal, but to her surprise, he got upset. “He got offended because he thought he lost face. Like ???” she shared, clearly baffled by his reaction.
Not knowing how to feel about the situation, she turned to Reddit for advice. “I don’t know if he got some growing up to do or generally guys here like to save face and pay the expenses when in public?” she asked.
‘Red flag already. Quickly run.’
The post quickly gained traction on the platform, with many users chiming in to share their opinions and experiences.
Some said his reaction might come from traditional expectations, where men feel they need to pay to look capable or maintain their pride in public. Others thought he might be insecure or not as cool with splitting expenses as he initially seemed.
One user commented, “As a guy, I would say that it’s a red flag when someone thinks they lose face because you paid. Either insecure or perhaps think less of women in general.”
Another user shared a similar experience, writing, “I’ve paid for many dates and was surprised when some told me after that they feel emasculated/offended and I should’ve let them pay.
“I don’t know if it’s their ego or what – because men always say it’s a red flag if women don’t offer to split. But when a woman covers the meal, they also don’t like.”
A third user wrote, “Red flag already. Quickly run.”
However, not everyone was quick to judge the man. A few users suggested that the woman have an open conversation with her date to better understand where he was coming from.
They felt that discussing it could help clarify if it was a cultural misunderstanding or a deeper issue in how he views relationships and equality.
One user added, “The splitting thing is tedious isn’t it. We men are usually happy to pay but he’s taking it a bit too far in this case. Best to have a discussion with him and see where that takes you instead of consulting Reddit.”
In other news, a 31-year-old Singaporean man recently started a conversation online by asking if “not having a flat or car” would make him less appealing to Singaporean women.
In his post on the r/askSingapore forum on Sunday (Jan 5), he shared that he had just returned to Singapore after eight years of studying abroad and was preparing to re-enter the dating scene.
However, he was concerned that not having the typical assets, like a flat or a car, might be a dealbreaker.
Read more: Man, 31, asks if “not having a flat or car” will make him less appealing to Singaporean women
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
