SINGAPORE: A Singaporean worker was stunned when her boss, instead of offering support, criticized and warned her during what she thought was a supportive check-in.
On Friday (Jan 17), she shared her experience on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum. She explained that she hoped for some understanding as a new hire when her boss called her for a quick chat to check her progress.
“When she asked me how I was, I answered honestly, saying that I have a lot of things on my plate, and it’s making me stressed,” she said.
“I expected her to be understanding, but instead, she turned it around on me, saying if I can’t handle it now when I’m new and have lesser responsibilities, how will I cope when I have more work,” she continued.
Moreover, because she was ‘new, not as fast as others, and unable to complete the tasks within office hours,’ her boss insisted that she manage her time better and ensure all work was done during office hours.
In addition, her boss criticized her office attire, saying it ‘was not up to par,’ and forbade her from seeking help from colleagues outside their department because it ‘reflected badly’ on their team.
Completely floored by all the criticisms, the worker admitted feeling so upset that she had to retreat to the bathroom to dissociate.
“I’m so frustrated. I feel so bad and upset that I’m being treated like a child or a robot,” she expressed. “I cannot leave because I’ve signed a bond with the company. Please give me tips on how to survive.”
“You should be thankful you have a straightforward boss”
Numerous Redditors commented that, unfortunately, this is how the real world works. They encouraged her to stay positive and look at the situation differently.
One Redditor said, “Your boss treats you like an adult, so she told you what is expected. You can survive by taking this as constructive criticism and trying your best to improve since you are bonded.”
Another commented, “It sounds like your boss just took the opportunity to air all of her grievances without fair warning. If it’s about the way I dress, I would expect my superior to tell me there and then (my ex-boss did this, and it worked) so that I can change in the future and know what I did wrong.”
Still, some felt she deserved more support and understanding, especially considering she was a new hire. One Redditor added, “Does the company have a collaborative culture? Why is she so afraid of other teams?”
You must find someone within your team willing to teach you. If you don’t have a nurturing/help culture, try asking for SOPs, policies, or manuals. I hope they are updated and that you learn from their lessons.
How to handle constructive criticism
Here’s how to make the most of constructive criticism and use it to become better at what you do, according to career experts:
Don’t take it as a personal attack: Remember, constructive criticism isn’t about attacking you; it’s about helping you improve. The person giving feedback sees your potential and wants to help you grow. Instead of feeling defensive, use the feedback as motivation to enhance your skills.
Keep an open mind and appreciate the feedback: Listen without judgment and stay open to feedback. Once the conversation is over, reflect on the advice given and express genuine gratitude. A simple “thank you” shows you appreciate the feedback, even if you disagree.
Focus on finding a solution: Use the feedback as a tool to grow. Clarify any misunderstandings, ask questions, and discuss how to address the issues moving forward. This approach will help you learn and make positive changes without feeling stuck or overwhelmed.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
